Review

Review Date: 3-May-09
Spoiler Rating: Low
Juju Judgment: Just OK

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

As someone who enjoys writing on a regular basis, I am constantly on the lookout for repetition of phrases because I do not want to bore my readers or myself. So I wonder when watching movies like X-Men Origins: Wolverine how the screenwriters felt. Was it worth it to them to reuse lines and situations from other flicks to get a paycheck, or did they experience remorse at dumbing down and selling out? (Or is rehash the best they could do?) I started jotting down all the clichéd bits of dialogue in this prequel to the X-Men trilogy but gave up after hearing both "Aren't you going to let me in?" and "Miss me?" from a villain and "Whose side are you on, anyway?" from a hero.

But my introduction might give you the wrong impression. The fact is, I liked Wolverine as much as I can like an unimaginative, forgettable blend of Hollywood action and superhero mythology. This is mostly due to Hugh Jackman, who can strut and smolder in slo-mo without looking silly and does justice to beefcake shots. Besides, the movie's predictability can save energy and pixels and rescue me from repetition by allowing readers to fill in the blanks. Here we go.

Reprising the role that made him famous, Jackman sets out to explain how a decent 19th-century mutant named Logan acquired an impervious skeleton and became a pissed-off 20th-century fighter for justice known as Wolverine. His journey opens with a Darth Vader "I am your _____" moment followed by scenes from a century of warfare as a soldier. Logan's inseparable companion on the field is his half-brother and fellow mutant (Liev Schreiber) who embraces the animal nature of their ageless, almost indestructible bodies and eventually goes to the ________ (to continue the Star Wars analogy). After this letdown, Logan starts a new life in the Rockies with a ___________ (Lynn Collins) and a job as a lumberjack. But of course, he cannot escape the _____. The heartbreaking _____ of his ______ sends him on a quest for ______ which begins with agreeing to let his old commander (Danny Huston) augment his already superhuman body with a frame of meteoric rock. Alas, near immortality cannot soften the fact that revenge is tricky business. Wolverine is betrayed and his list of targets grows. In his first big battle he faces down a _______ and _______ while ________. (Okay, on this one the uninitiated might need help to arrive at "helicopter," "pistol-wielding mutant assassin," and "riding a motorbike clad in a cool leather jacket given to him by Ma and Pa Kettle.")

The story hangs together well enough until it stops off in New Orleans before heading to Three Mile Island for the finale. There it succumbs to sentiment borrowed from Slumdog Millionaire and the franchise's sometimes debilitating need to parade numerous characters from the "X-Men" comics, none of which, I fear, will ever resonate like Jackman's Wolverine. As far as this "Origins" series goes, my advice to the invested studios is "____ while you're _____" or, if it must happen, "_____ outside the ____."

Copyright © 2009 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.