Review

Review Date: 21-August-06
Spoiler Rating: Low
Juju Judgment: Just OK

Snakes on a Plane (2006)

So you've heard about this movie "Snakes on a Plane," right? Caught the Internet hype, read some print coverage, saw the theatrical advertising? Conjured up an image of the flick from its title? Well, then, there's nothing I can tell you about it that you don't already know. "Snakes on a Plane" is an end-of-the-summer, dumb-as-we-wanna-be thriller featuring a whole bunch of scaly reptiles. And it takes place at 30,000 feet.

There are human characters too, but they aren't as colorful as the serpents. Samuel L. Jackson headlines as an FBI agent charged with transporting a valuable witness (Nathan Phillips) from Hawaii to Los Angeles. A couple crateloads of poisonous serpents are smuggled onto the plane to bring it and the witness down, but they serve the ancillary and amusing function of terrorizing the cookie-cutter passengers. These include a bigheaded rap star (Flex Alexander), his video-game-loving homeboy (Kenan Thompson), and a ditzy rich girl who accessorizes with a chihuahua (Rachel Blanchard), along with your standard-issue Asian dude (for ethnic variety), little kids (for goopiness), newlyweds (ditto), and bimbos (for a dash of T&A). The aircraft also holds a plucky female flight attendant (Julianna Margulies) and a seemingly gay male one (Bruce James), along with a chauvinistic but courageous pilot (David Koechner). Unfortunate wayfarers of the sky! Their cardboard nature isn't enough to keep the vermin away from their limbs (or eyeballs or nipples or family jewels). Watching their plight is enough to make one envy Jackson's desk-bound FBI buddy (Bobby Cannavale) who tries to head off catastrophe from the ground.

Nothing in "Snakes on a Plane" goes beyond the predictable or moderately exciting. I imagine it offers big thrills only for people who are afraid or grossed out by snakes. But in keeping with the name that made it famous months ago, the movie is exactly what it purports to be. Do you want to see cheesy people get eaten and intimidated by snakes? Does Samuel L. Jackson being cool and mouthing off make you smile? Does cut-rate gore, sex, and sentiment blow your skirt up? All right, then! Welcome aboard!

Copyright © 2006 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.