Review

Review Date: 9-September-07
Spoiler Rating: Medium
Juju Judgment: Just OK

Shoot 'Em Up (2007)

During the first four minutes of "Shoot 'Em Up" the mysterious hero (Clive Owen) kills a man by shoving a carrot through his head and severs the umbilical cord of a newborn baby by blowing it off with the mother's gun. That ought to give you a good idea of what the movie is like and prepare you to read about the subsequent bullets, bombast, and blood. Owen's character, "Mr. Smith," is a cranky loner who gets violently annoyed when people commit sins like not using their turn signals, although his tough exterior hides a heart of gold. (He reminds me of me in a way, except I haven't offed anyone with produce yet.) Upon seeing a pregnant woman being chased by a thug, he can't help but try and save her, and when a dozen more hitmen crash her delivery he becomes the guardian of a bouncing baby bulls-eye hunted by some very nasty men. And that annoys him, too.

What follows is a procession of intentionally overblown movie clichés. For breast milk and a spot of nooky, Mr. Smith heads to a brothel and enlists a beauty who satisfies the trite double-fantasy of whore-slash-mother (Monica Bellucci). Valiantly protective of the child, he unleashes a hailstorm of ammunition upon the stream of men who pursue him, led by a cool, calculating Paul Giamatti. Naturally Mr. Smith hits flesh every time he pulls a trigger, whereas the bad guys are terrible shots. Of course the chase involves neon-lit rooftops, a spiral staircase, and flashbacks to Owen's BMW ads, and the action gets wilder with every scene. It goes without saying that the villain is hard to kill, and that he and the hero indulge in self-referential lines about things like clichés in action movies. (Does Giamatti actually pun on his most famous role when he says "Fuck me sideways?" I think he does.) Rest assured that rich jerks are behind it all.

The problem with gimmicks is that they have a short life span which a movie will always overrun. Sometimes you have to chuckle at the excess of "Shoot 'Em Up," but much of the picture is as dull as what it's trying to spoof and would bomb with lesser men as the leads. The worst thing about it, however, is its antigun message. Is writer/director Michael Davis shooting for ironic humor or a serious statement? He has simply made a tolerable action-comedy, and if he was aiming for more he missed his mark.

Copyright © 2007 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.