Spotlight

Spotlight Date: 2-January-05
Spoiler Rating: Low

The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946)

Saturday night and colder than a corpse in a meat locker. My money ain't good at Joe's, where the coffee is as hot as the waitress, so I had to beat it home. I stopped at the video store on the way just to see what was what. So there I was, minding my own business, when all the sudden I see this dame. Oh, I could tell she was trouble from the start. Blonde hair. Legs like a racehorse. Heart as hard as stone, but soft in all the right places. My kind of girl. Maybe the night wasn't a bust after all. I decided to take her back to my place.

The blonde said her name was Cora but she looked like Lana Turner, and believe me, I was looking. I figured I had to pour on the sweet sauce, but the minute I popped in a video she started singing like a jaybird. Told me a story like cold steel in my back, which was the only thing could have cooled me down. Seems the doll was married down in California to some codger named Nick (who some folks knew as Cecil Kellaway). They were sitting on a nice piece of land with a little café and a gas depot like a couple of honeymooners, only the missus wasn't satisfied. She had too much class to say what was lacking in her domestic arrangement, but she didn't have to paint me a picture. Before too long she had that chump Nicky advertising that a Man was Wanted.

I had to pour myself a stiff one when Cora got to telling me about the fella named "Frank" (aka John Garfield) who showed up to answer the ad. (Even a sailor doesn't like to know how long it's been since his ship took her maiden voyage.) He was a winner, that one, so hot under the collar that he barely waited for the old man to make himself scarce before laying his paws on the lady of the house. My first thought on receiving this information was to pound another hole in the wall, but when Cora turned her baby blues on me I almost felt sorry for the guy. Dames like her, there's no telling what a man will do. I been there too.

Cora moved a little closer and almost pushed the buttons on my remote. "Don't tell anyone," she whispered, and I felt like a fly in a spider's web. Out of her pretty lips came the news that she and Frank had plotted to kill the old man, only things went haywire and they had a rendezvous with the District Attorney. I gotta hand it to her, she was as scrappy as an alley cat with her back against the wall. Poor Frank never knew what hit him. All the sudden he was back at her place, and the lady and her lawyer were calling all the shots. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. Ain't that the way. Give 'em an inch and they'll take all seven.

I woulda got up for some air only Cora had her hand on my knee. It was a sticky situation. What do you do with dames like that? A man needs to get in the saddle, but you should never let a broad take the reins. This guy I know at Joe's, he says that the postman always rings twice. You can try and give him the slip, but you'll always get what's coming to you in the end. A woman like Cora might look like a special delivery, but that kind of package will blow up in your face. I'd heard enough. I wasn't Frank. Quickly I rose from the couch, crossed the room, and pushed Eject. I got the message, all right. Loud and clear.

Copyright © 2005 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.