Review

Review Date: 2-March-08
Spoiler Rating: Medium
Juju Judgment: Just OK

The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)

Like most people who plunked down money on "The Other Boleyn Girl" this weekend, I was intrigued by the idea of two of the most beautiful actresses in the world going head-to-head and shedding sumptuous 16th-century costumes to get naked with the same comely man. It sounded fun and almost campy, but with a highbrow historical flair. I am equally disappointed and chastened that my inclination was not rewarded with artful debauchery. Being unfamiliar with the novel that spawned "The Other Boleyn Girl," I can only say that the movie is neither titillating nor erotic. It tells a nasty, nasty tale of which I wish I remained in ignorance.

It is on the grounds of subject matter that I base my "Just OK" judgment, for with one exception the film is a competent affair. The actresses at the fore are Natalie Portman, who plays dark historical figure Anne Boleyn, and Scarlett Johansson, who plays Anne's lesser-known sister Mary. They look nothing alike of course, but manage with girlish charm to open the show as fond siblings who enjoy a bucolic life with their brother (Jim Sturgess). After Mary's wedding to a local lad, things go downhill quickly. The kids' ruthless uncle, the Duke of Norfolk (David Morrissey), convinces their status-conscious father (Mark Rylance) that the way to make the clan rich is to involve Anne with King Henry VIII (Eric Bana). The king's middle-aged wife has failed to produce a male heir, and the time is ripe for profitable seduction.

Pimping one's niece or daughter is vile, but I suppose it was normal at that time and Anne is not forced into the task. She is a vivacious minx who welcomes the opportunity for conquest and self-advancement. Her more strident qualities get out of hand, however, when the king goes for the gentle and unassuming Mary instead. Never mind that the lady is a newlywed; Henry summons her to his court and bedroom, whereupon Anne's venom knows no bounds.

We have all seen portraits of Henry VIII, and let's face it, the guy wasn't svelte or pretty. I therefore question the casting of Bana in this role, as it seems intended to sex up an entirely unsexy situation. Not that giving him a handsome exterior mitigates his repulsiveness. This king is an absolute boob who appears only able to make decisions that involve his crotch. He desires Mary because she is naturally kind and generous (and fertile, giving him a son), then he starts drooling for Anne after she returns from France having mastered the art of conniving. She leads him around by the, ah, nose for a good while to torture him and Mary for their supposed affronts. Does this dope actually run a major European country? And why didn't the studio cast a stouter actor and show the manipulative, fake-it-till-you-make-it sex for what it was?

Good ol' Uncle Norfolk keeps pulling the strings while the girls' mother (Kristen Scott Thomas) bristles in disgust at what is happening to all her children, as well she should. But as a woman and lesser noble and person with scruples, she has no power to change their fate. Everybody is subject to the whims of the big boob himself, who can incarcerate or behead his wives when they become inconvenient, and the god of his fathers be damned. The last 30 minutes of the movie are really most unpleasant in their sordidness. If there is a silver lining to the muck it shines from Portman, who began her career upon iffy talent and has matured nicely into her craft. I hope to see her soon in a vehicle where her beauty is not prostituted and message not so grim.

Copyright © 2008 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.