Review

Review Date: 24-December-06
Spoiler Rating: Medium
Juju Judgment: Junk

Night at the Museum (2006)

I so liked the premise of this movie: a comic schmo trapped inside a museum where the displays come to life, including everything from a T-rex fossil to a sculpture of Teddy Roosevelt. It sounded like a wet dream for history geeks like me, apt to be amusing even as a special-effects-laden flick for the whole family. Alas, I underestimated the asininity of the Hollywood machine. Far from exploiting or even respecting the coolness of its quasi-intellectual backdrop, "Night at the Museum" is so stupid it's almost offensive.

The clichés here are as plentiful as gifts from Santa's sleigh. The headlining schmo is a loser named Larry (Ben Stiller) whose fecklessness exasperates an ex-wife (a caring but nagging presence, as is always the case in Hollywood fantasies) and impressionable son (a goopy-eyed moppet, ditto; he's played by Jake Cherry). In a last-ditch effort to grow up and be a man, Larry takes a job as night watchman at the city's natural history museum. (The city appears to be New York, but it's unbelievable that an institution in such a metropolis would be clueless about modern security.) His training consists of a few vague words from Cecil, his elderly predecessor (Dick Van Dyke), and Cecil's two cronies (Mickey Rooney, Bill Cobbs), who have fallen victim to hard times and corporate downsizing. Larry also begins the new gig by noticing a beautiful docent (Carla Gugino) and getting off on the wrong foot with his pompous boss (Ricky Gervais).

At last the doors are locked and Larry is left alone; the fun is ready to commence. The astonished fellow quickly discovers that the T-rex likes to play fetch and the Easter Island head craves chewing gum. (Um, okay.) He makes the acquaintance of the entire menagerie thrust upon his care: cave men, wild animals, Christopher Columbus, Sacajawea, Attila the Hun, a Roman general (Steve Coogan), a belligerent cowboy (Owen Wilson), and good ol' Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams), a benevolent father figure who talks exclusively in aphorisms. The mix has potential, but it becomes apparent that their show is headed nowhere when Larry spends two minutes arguing with a monkey. Anything that might engage a person's grey matter is cast aside for things like this, which are supposed to be hilarious. I couldn't help but become more and more annoyed as the Roman calls Larry his "liege" (a medieval term), a toy car is driven by the Lilliputian cowboy (why would it have a gas pedal and brake?), and the animated mannequins vacillate between being real people and walking, talking imitations (a crucial distinction, it seems to me). The filmmakers trifle with cinematic chestnuts when they should be making merry with the bounty a museum provides.

Through incentives related to his loserness, Larry doesn't quit the job after the first night as he wants to do. Instead, he returns to face his demons with the aid of his newfound friends/wards/nemeses and proves himself in front of his son and potential paramour. Indeed, the lady claims to be a history geek herself, but her involvement in this nonsense dashes all connection to brains. Lighthearted shouldn't equal dimwitted, and nobody should pay admission to this display.

Copyright © 2006 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.