Review

Review Date: 11-November-07
Spoiler Rating: High
Juju Judgment: Junk

Fred Claus (2007)

If there is one thing I am always willing to get mushy about, it's Christmas. I long to believe in Santa. I love the thought of reindeer. I get teary imagining kids all over the world finding treasures in their stockings or under a tree. My soul expands at the wonder of Scrooge (whose story I revisit each December on DVD, CD, and stage); I accept the miracle of Yuletide rejuvenation. The weird thing is, "Fred Claus" offers all this stuff — plus puppies, true love, and orphans — and it did not touch me one lick. More than anything it made me feel sorry for the past Oscar-winners and future Oscar-winner who lowered themselves by being in it.

This has nothing to do with the strike: I have to point the finger of blame at screenwriter Dan Fogelman, whose other major credit is the animated flick "Cars," a vastly superior effort. The fatal flaw of "Fred Claus" is not that it's too crass or stupid as I had expected, but that it veers from appalling sap to boldfaced comedy so often and so violently it almost induces nausea. Sure, go ahead and make merry with Santa; the big guy can take it. But if humor is your theme, don't spend half your time staging maudlin tableaux and the other half trying to make it seem like fun.

So here it is, the story with an identity crisis (much like its title character): once upon a time Nick Claus popped out of the womb supernaturally jolly and generous, which put pressure on his older brother Fred. The whole family was granted immortality after Nick attained sainthood, so for centuries Fred has felt inadequate. Now a glib loser living in Chicago (and played by Vince Vaughn), Fred has fuzzy feelings towards his girlfriend (Rachel Weisz) and a poor black neighbor boy (Bobb'e J. Thompson), but he is incapable of giving himself. When a desperate money-making scheme lands him in jail, he agrees to help out at the North Pole if Nick (Paul Giamatti, who will erase this boo-boo with his future Oscar) pays the bail.

A sleigh ride later Fred is unhappily reunited with his brother and sister-in-law (Miranda Richardson) and given a job in the famous workshop. He bunks down with an elf (John MIchael Higgins) who wants to roll under the mistletoe with a woman who won't notice him (Elizabeth Banks). Because we are supposed to love the hero even though he's obnoxious, there is a villain played by Kevin Spacey who represents some corporation of stockholders in holiday tradition which plans to shut down Nick if his operation fails inspection. The goal is to give Fred (and others) a sense of self-worth which will open him to familial and romantic love while saving Christmas, getting the elf laid, rescuing the neighbor boy from the fate of being a hoodlum, and, oh yes, encouraging the audience to remember that this is a comedy by showing Fred corrupting Santa's workforce with R&B music, suffering a pygmy ninja attack (twice), and causing his brother to crash a snowmobile into a building. One doesn't know whether to laugh or cry! Since "Fred Claus" is so poorly done, you end up doing neither.

Copyright © 2007 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.