Review
Review Date: 7-March-04
Spoiler Rating: Medium
Juju Judgment: Junk
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)
I don't care what skeptics and haters of the original "Dirty Dancing" may say, this movie had potential. Consider what it had going for it: two promising, attractive young stars (Romola Garai from "Nicholas Nickleby" and Diego Luna from "Y Tu Mama Tambien"); an intriguing setting (Havana, 1958); a premise replete with sex and other forbidden fruits (see title); and an opportunity for a killer soundtrack (Cuba+dance music = mmmmm). So how, HOW did it turn out to be such an unmitigated Suckfest? I weep at the thought of what "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" might have been (but definitely isn't).
One needn't look farther than the screenwriting credits to see who's to blame for this mess: writers Victoria Arch and Boaz Yakin stumble every step of the way, introducing myriad formulaic plotlines and dropping every one of them without development or plausible resolution. (And remember "No one puts Baby in a corner"? That's Shakespeare compared to the dialogue in this clunker.) The movie starts out with the heroine Katey (Garai) moving to Cuba after her father gets a job transfer there on the eve of the communist revolution. At first, it appears that the tropical atmosphere and licentious attitude of her fellow expatriates may threaten her maiden timidity, but we soon realize that Katey isn't all that naive or repressed; her problem is just that she's smart. (Quick, somebody save her!) The crux of the story shifts to star-crossed loverdom when Katey runs into a good-looking busboy named Javier (Luna) and discovers that bigotry and antipathy separate their worlds. Their relationship gets ever so slightly kindled by the presence of a rich kid who fits Katey's parents' image of WASP dreamboat, but just as he begins to get dangerous, he is tamed and forced into the background, allowing Katey and Javier to pursue their thing without opposition or chance of detection.
"Their thing," of course, consists mostly of preparing for a dance contest that could earn Javier some much needed money. Inexplicably, both partners are already capable hoofers when they meet (the writers borrow from "Strictly Ballroom" in making Katey's parents former dancers), which squanders another potential source of tension and leaves the lovers floundering in boring, largely meaningless scenes. (Everything feels so pointless that even the grinding bodies in this flick don't generate much heat.) The movie goes from bad to worse at the end, as Katey almost has a confrontation with her parents that simply vanishes with a few trite lines, and the one remaining hope for fulfillment — the dance contest — is ludicrously dashed.
Along with the writers, director Guy Ferland deserves a wet raspberry for failing to create a sense of time and place that wouldn't have saved the film but might have made it more bearable. The whole idea that Katey is an American teenager in a volatile foreign country in the 1950s is largely wasted; other than the costumes, everything in the movie (including the music) feels like modern Havana or even LA. As for the stars, Garai and Luna do what they can, but she appears to give up trying to figure out who Katey is after the first half, and he just coasts on cuteness. (And he is very cute; I hope he finds better material than this.)
The creative minds (ahem) behind "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" drop references to the original movie throughout the film (including an extended cameo by Patrick Swayze), hoping to remind people that the story they are "reimagining" once enjoyed widespread popularity. But they're fooling themselves. It takes a particular lack of talent to make forbidden teen love, swirling hips, and salsa music boring; where such clumsiness leads, nobody should follow.
Copyright © 2004 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.
