Review

Review Date: 12-September-04
Spoiler Rating: Low
Juju Judgment: Just OK

Criminal (2004)

Ewan McGregor may have recently gained points for motorcycling around the globe, but his title of World's Cutest Human (Adult) has been usurped by Diego Luna. A Mexican TV star who gained international fame in "Y Tu Mamá También," the brown and lanky Luna is absolutely watchable as the rare actor who mixes boyish innocence with artistic control; he never seems to be playing anybody, he just seems to be (cutely). It's lamentable, therefore, that his last three movies have pretty much sucked: "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" was a joke; "The Terminal" was lame; and now "Criminal" disappoints despite a promising pedigree and tiptop cast. Excepting a couple of funny lines, Luna is the only reason to consider renting this movie somewhere down the road.

John C. Reilly co-stars as Richard, an amoral con man who recruits a desperate young scammer named Rodrigo (Luna) as a new partner. Following a trial period spent swindling small amounts of cash, the duo hits the potential jackpot by getting hold of a rare piece of US currency worth a fortune to collectors. (Actually, it's a forgery of such a piece of currency, but they consider this unimportant.) The discovery of this valuable item leads the two men to the upscale LA hotel where Richard's estranged sister Valerie (Maggie Gyllenhaal) works as a concierge, and where a potential buyer (Peter Mullan) is staying for one night only. Wading through family troubles, unexpected snags, and an ever-increasing number of greedy hands dipping into the plot, Richard and Rodrigo (rechristened a more Anglo-friendly "Brian") struggle to bring their scheme to fruition and solidify their partnership as a profitable enterprise. Of course, as in most movies of this nature, things don't turn out exactly as everyone expects.

A remake of an Argentine hit from a few years back, "Criminal" was written in English by director Gregory Jacobs and producer Steven Soderbergh (understandably using a pseudonym), and it tries to capture the grifter coolness of the latter's "Ocean's 11" or "Out of Sight." But watching "Criminal" is like sitting through the opening acts of a concert: its plot seems contrived to kill time with middle-grade diversion until the big finale, fatally ignoring the fact that (in this medium) we're not going to care by then if we haven't already been hooked. That we haven't is the result of poor characterization, for despite a trio of highly capable stars the movie never builds any attachment or fascination around their roles. Reilly and Gyllenhaal are too enigmatically cold and insular (at least he scores laughs by being so), while Luna gets by, as usual, on being adorable. Jarringly, the script assigns Richard and Valerie a baby brother whose sole purpose seems to be to shed humanity on the affair, since the major characters lack enough of their own. The filmmakers present him as naive, but they ought to have gone all the way and made him retarded or crippled or something; he's nothing but a plea for sympathy, and it shows.

With the World's Cutest Human and other talent on board, I'm inclined to give "Criminal" credit for good intentions, especially as it evinces mediocrity instead of glaring incompetence. By the end, however, I couldn't help feeling that I was the one who got swindled.

Copyright © 2004 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.