Review

Review Date: 18-November-07
Spoiler Rating: Medium
Juju Judgment: Just OK

Beowulf (2007)

I don't know, maybe it's Shakespeare's fault. Or Sigmund Freud's. All I know is that to modern folk a story is not good unless the characters have issues. Angst. Sorrow. Unchecked impulses. Regret. Too often this seems self-indulgent, since we wear issues on our sleeves like badges. When applied to the ancient tale of Beowulf, it messes up the whole thing.

As far as I can tell, there is nothing complicated about Beowulf. He is, like many a tribal hero, a simple man with a one-track mind. He fights to win or die. He seeks glory through daring, skill, and might. Riches and power that do not call attention to his deeds offer no interest to him. He wants to be the best of men — to act as the best of men — and to gain recognition as such.

In Richard Zemeckis' new telling, written by Neil Gaiman and Richard Avary, Beowulf and everyone he knows is pinned under the weight of issues. A lot goes on that does not derive from the Old English poem passed down from centuries ago. Start with Danish king Hrothgar, whose voice and features are provided by Anthony Hopkins. (This is an animated feature à la Zemeckis' "The Polar Express," and parts of it are rather dazzling.) Legend tells us that he had a serious monster problem, but here he is also burdened with a wife (Robin Wright Penn) who despises him because of a past transgression. The monster, Grendel, invades his hall looking like Gollum's uglier brother with a taste for humans instead of fish. Grendel is the incarnation of an issue, and with him around the drinking of mead and fondling of wenches is over.

From across the sea comes Beowulf (Ray Winstone), who has heard of the monster and longs to face him. This version of the hero does not have a one-track mind and becomes distracted by the queen's beauty. Still, he dispatches Grendel in naked hand-to-hand combat in a scene most notable for its inventiveness at hiding Beowulf's manhood. There's modernity for you: Hollywood delights in a gory pagan death match but blushes at the thought of a wee-wee. Why is violence ubiquitous but male nudity taboo?

The real soap opera begins as Beowulf goes to meet Grendel's avenging mother. (He petulantly says something like, "How many monsters do I have to kill?" This movie doesn't get him at all.) Although described by the bard as just another beast, here she is Angelina Jolie in the buff (no taboo on women's nudity) with a braid like a tail and bizarrely incongruous high heels. Beowulf has met his match. His wee-wee comes into play after all.

The rest of the film traces the aftermath of Beowulf's weakness, bringing him to old age and featuring a final dragon battle which plays well but cannot match the closing chapter of the poem. We are asked to remember him as a man who grappled with his ambition, folly, dishonesty, and remorse in addition to horrible monsters. Bah! Bah! And again Bah! I prefer the timeless original.

Copyright © 2007 The Jujube (M. I. Kim). All rights reserved.